


something that i want

by da_vinky



Category: The Penumbra Podcast
Genre: (for like thirty seconds so the story makes sense dw), (yes she is a chameleon), Alternate Universe - Tangled (2010) Fusion, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Buddy is the queen but she's only mentioned once, Character Death, Emotional Manipulation, Engstrom is in there for one scene, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Juno Steel Needs a Hug, Juno and Nureyev Flirting A Lot, Juno doesn't have magic hair but he DOES have a magic eye, Nureyev is Flynn Rider, Other, POV Juno Steel, POV Peter Nureyev, POV Sarah Steel, Past Character Death, Peter Nureyev Alias Generator (Penumbra Podcast), Peter Nureyev's Backstory, Rita & Juno Steel Friendship, Rita is Pascal, Soup, Tags Are Hard, Thief Peter Nureyev, Trauma, YES ITS A TANGLED AU, additional warnings in the notes, also instead of the curemother being an ugly lung it is now a magic potion. suck it, it's sarah steel tho so..., juno is rapunzel, more tags tba, peter nureyev/knives, there is a decent amount of fluff in my opinion, yes the ruby7 is a horse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-15
Updated: 2020-10-19
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:54:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27020818
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/da_vinky/pseuds/da_vinky
Summary: Rita crawls out from under the bookshelf and tucks herself on to my shoulder. Just as I’m about to doze off, I hear it.Something is trying to climb the tower, and it seems to be succeeding.There are no weapons in here. Sarah takes the knives with her when she goes, I’ve tried that on her before, and she’s made sure I have nothing heavy enough to knock someone out with.Except for one thing. I groan, pulling out a cast-iron frying pan.---the tangled au nobody wanted but me! no prior knowledge required, although if you haven't seen tangled i recommend it. also i changed some things around! hopefully it doesn't fuck anything up
Relationships: Peter Nureyev/Juno Steel
Comments: 39
Kudos: 78
Collections: Golden Podcast Pain and Fluff





	1. when will my life begin?

**Author's Note:**

> cw/tws for this chapter:  
> \- emotional manipulation  
> \- horrendously low self esteem
> 
> please lmk if i missed anything!! they're going to build up as we go along :')

Once upon a time, in a land far, far away… 

I was bored out of my entire goddamn mind. You can only pace a room so many times before you wear through the floorboards, and I was practically walking on scaffolding at this point. And when you live where I do, in a 40-foot tower, breaking through the floor is not a great idea. I sigh, sitting down on the sill of my single window.

Yeah… The tower. The only place I’ve ever known, probably the only place I ever will know. Not for lack of trying, of course. Honestly, you can’t trap a lady in a room for his entire life without parole and expect him to be content! I want to go outside.  _ So  _ bad. Everything seems so much… brighter. I don’t even need both eyes to see it. The grass, the dirt, the trees… I’ve never seen them up close before. Hell, I’ve never been closer than 40 goddamn feet. My mother says it’s dangerous. Fuck that, all the more reason to get out there! The day I believe a thing she says is the day I die. 

Well. The day I believe  _ almost  _ anything she says. Some things… Some things I know to be true. 

I’m shaken out of my imminent spiral by Rita, scuttling up my arm. 

“Hey there. You’ve had better luck than me finding something to do, then, huh?” I grumble. She chirps happily, putting her tiny hands on my face. I envy Rita sometimes. Look, I know, envying a chameleon isn’t the most healthy thing, but this tower with its three rooms must seem so much bigger to her than it does to me. And plus, she could technically leave at any time. There’s nothing stopping  _ her  _ from going.  _ She  _ isn’t dangerous, to herself or to others.

Rita must be trying to be some kind of emotional support dog, because she chirps again, angrily this time, just as I’m about to trip right into the self pity pit.

“What do you want?! We’re out of snacks! You know that!” 

She droops, nuzzling her head into my jaw. If she could cry, the waterworks would be flowing by now. 

“Alright,  _ fine.  _ You can have the ones I was saving. I’ll just have to ask mom to buy more when she gets back today…” I sigh, getting up. 

And then I freeze in my tracks. 

Shit. She’s coming back  _ today.  _

I look around, and the main room is a mess. There are books all over the floor, dishes in the sink, clothes flung over the furniture… The whole shebang. How the hell do I clean this up in- I glance at the clock-  _ ten minutes.  _ Fuck. I don’t have the  _ time!  _

I take a deep breath, the first real one all day. Okay, I can do this. I set Rita down gently on the table and almost forget to bring her the snacks until I hear another angry chirp. Two minutes later, she has the last of my food and I only have eight minutes to clean everything. The dishes will have to stay there, hopefully she won’t notice… but I can tidy everything else. The books get shoved haphazardly on to the shelves, my clothes thrown into my room. I think I have some time to spare, to check that everything is in place, when I hear her voice from the bottom of the tower. 

_ “Juno! The ladder, please!”  _

How my mother gets in and out of the tower isn’t really a ladder. It’s more of a long rope with a loop at the bottom for her to stand on while I haul her up. I’m pretty much convinced the only reason she had kids was to use us as manual labour… Well, she just has me to boss around now. But the point still stands. Five minutes and forty feet later, she steps through the window and into the room. 

Sarah Steel, my mother. 

“Hello, my little monster! Oh, it feels like forever since I’ve seen you.” She coos, sweeping in to hug me. Her scent envelops me along with her arms, and she smells like she always does. Sickly sweet with a hint of something off putting underneath. I hug her back automatically. 

“Yeah… Too long.” I mutter, trying not to breathe in too much. Eventually she lets go, taking my face in her hands. 

“Oh, look at you. So handsome… If only you didn’t have all those scars…” she tsked, booping my nose as she went to unpack her basket in the kitchen. “Juno, really? I thought I told you to wash these dishes.” Sarah says, that sharp undertone cutting through the false sweetness. She talks just like she smells. 

“Sorry. I’ll… I’ll get to them later.” I reply. Around her I’m always unable to speak properly. How can I, when she’ll just twist my words? If I do anything except agree with her… Let’s just say I’ve learned to keep my complaints internal. 

“Aww, why the long face, little monster? Aren’t you happy to see me?” 

“Of course I am, just, uh… Preoccupied? My birthday is soon.” 

“How could I forget? My only child…” She says it because she knows it stings. “What do you want for your birthday, Juno?”

“Well, we’re running low on snacks… Aside from that, nothing much.” 

“Come on, there has to be something! This is a big one…” 

I take a deep breath. I have to at least  _ try.  _ “Oh. Well, you know that there’s something I’ve always wanted to do-”

“No. You’re not leaving.” Sarah cuts me off before I even finish my sentence. She clearly knew this was coming. “How many times do we have to have this discussion before it gets through that thick head of yours? You are  _ never  _ leaving this tower.” The sharp edge of her voice is all I can hear now, the pleasantries shredded to bits between her teeth. Of course. What was I expecting? For her to give me a kiss on the forehead and send me on my way? Sarah Steel has never done either of those things. 

“Yeah. Yeah, I’m sorry, I was just hoping-”

“I know what you were hoping, little monster. My advice? Stop it.” She says, grinning without humour. It’s like she enjoys it. “But! I brought home the ingredients for your favourite! It’s soup night!” She singsongs, pulling out bags of carrots and potatoes. 

I hate soup. “That sounds really good. Thank you, mom. I’m sorry again.” 

She just smiles at me, shaking her head. “I thought I taught you that mother knows best, Juno. I don’t know why you saw fit to question that  _ again.  _ We all know what happened the last time.” 

We do know what happened last time. I eat in silence, until an idea strikes. Well, less of an idea and more of a realization. 

I have to get out of this tower. How can I get her away for long enough to do it? She only ever leaves for one or two days at a time, that’s nowhere near enough to get me to even the closest town. She has to be gone for at least a week… Oh! Snacks. 

“Mom?” 

“Yes, Juno?” 

“I thought of something I actually want for my birthday.” 

“Finally. Go ahead!” 

“Remember how I mentioned food earlier? Well, I’ve been wanting these snacks, salmon ones.” I hate the things, but Rita loves them. Call it a thank you present for not climbing out the window and into the world whenever she wants a break. 

“Juno… You can only get those by the ocean. The ocean is at least a week’s time from here…” 

“I know. But you said that this was a big one, didn’t you? And I haven’t had them in a long time.” Please work, please work, please work- 

“Oh, alright. Behave yourself while I’m gone, little monster… I’ll leave tonight.” She says, standing up and reaching for her cloak. The rush I get from my relief is nearly enough to knock me out of my chair. Thank god. Even if I don’t end up leaving, a whole week, maybe more, without Sarah Steel hanging over my shoulder? That’s worth it as it is. 

She sweeps out of the tower as dramatically as she came, though with much less effort on my part. I collapse onto the sofa, my head tilted back to look at the ceiling. I’m going to be bored in like twenty minutes, but for now I’m enjoying the quiet. Rita crawls out from under the bookshelf and tucks herself on to my shoulder. Just as I’m about to doze off, I hear it. 

Something is trying to climb the tower, and it seems to be succeeding. 

There are no weapons in here. Sarah takes the knives with her when she goes, I’ve tried that on her before, and she’s made sure I have nothing heavy enough to knock someone out with. 

Except for one thing. I groan, pulling out a cast-iron frying pan. 

But there is no time to gripe about this horrible choice in defense weaponry, because the intruder is climbing over the windowsill. They tumble inside, somehow managing to be graceful. I heft my pan over my shoulder, ready to strike at a moment’s notice. 

And then he looks at me. 

He is holding a very sharp knife in his mouth, so I decide to focus on that for the moment. 

“Who the hell are you?” I demand, brandishing the pan in a way I really, really hope is menacing. Rita growls at him from my shoulder. 

“Who are  _ you? _ ” He retorts, brandishing his knife in a way that is definitely menacing and he knows it. 

“I live here!” 

“Oh! I’m terribly sorry.” The man says, immediately tucking the knife away. “I’m afraid I thought this building was abandoned…”

“Yeah, well, you thought wrong. Nice meeting you, the window is right over there.” I snarl. 

“No, please! Let me stay here. Just for a minute.” He pleads, and I see something in his eyes that vaguely resembles panic. It looks wrong on him. Now that his knife is down, I let myself look at his face properly, and I immediately know that his knife isn’t the most dangerous thing about him. His teeth are sharp and so are his nails, and his eyes… You can tell he’s seen much stranger than a lady with a frying pan trapped in a tower. The man is long and lean and graceful, so much so that my own limbs start to feel clunky in comparison. He’s almost catlike. He’s… I hate to admit it, but he’s gorgeous. 

“Fine.” I relent, only lowering my incredibly sad weapon a little bit. “But I’m going to search you.” 

“Ah, I’d rather not-” He starts, but I’m already going through his coat pockets. Mostly crumpled pieces of paper with doodles on them, but in one… A small vial filled with shimmering gold liquid. 

“What’s this?” I ask, holding it up to him. 

“Private. Give it back, please.” 

“Nah, don’t think I will!” I say, holding the frying pan right under his chin. He steps back. I pocket the vial as I advance further on him. “So, here to kill me?” 

“...Why would I be here to kill you?” He asks, seeming genuinely baffled. 

“No reason. Just checking. You can never know these days.” I say. Look, I’m not going to give him a reason to kill me if he didn’t already have one. My death wish isn’t  _ that  _ strong. 

“Right you are… Would you mind taking that pan out of my face now that we’ve established I won’t kill you?” 

Slowly, I take it off him. I’m not going to let him out of my sight the whole time he’s here, so I hope that makes up for it. “Why are you here?” I ask. 

“Would you believe me if I said I was just passing through?” 

“Nope.” 

“Well, to be honest, I really have to be going soon, so if I could have back that vial-” 

“I’m betting you stole it. Some kind of poison?” 

“No, quite the opposite.” He mutters under his breath. “Please, I need to leave, quickly!” 

“Okay. You can leave. But on one condition.” I tell him, narrowing my eyes. 

“You have to take me with you.” 

“Pardon me?” 

“You heard me, take me with you or I’m not letting you leave.” 

“Why would I do that?” 

“Because I’m betting you don’t want to find out what frying pan tastes like.” 

“Alright, touche. Fine! What’s your name.” He groans. Emotions look good on him, when they manage to peek through his facade. 

“Juno Steel. Yours?” 

“Maxime Couvert.” The name fits him. Too well, almost, like he picked it himself… But no time to think about that now. 

“So, Mr. Steel, how do we get out? I’m not sure I could climb down the way I got up…” He sighs, looking at his nails, which I’m now noticing are slightly chipped. Boo hoo. 

“We have a rope.” I say, grinning and tossing it over the pulley at the window.

“Wonderful. Ladies first?” He suggests, but I shake my head. 

“I have to say my goodbyes. I’ll meet you down there.” Really, I’m going to hide his weird potion so he can’t make off with it in the middle of the night. There’s nothing here I would need to say goodbye to, since Rita is obviously coming with me. She’s still sitting on my shoulder, chirruping her excitement. 

I tuck the vial under a loose stair, and lean out over the windowsill to grasp the rope. 

The air smells better already. 

I don’t even remember my fear of heights until I’m standing on solid ground, because goddamn… I’m out. 


	2. i've got a dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter and Juno get to know each other better and Sarah finds out what they've done.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw/tws for:  
> \- lasting effects of emotional manipulation  
> \- more low self esteem  
> \- mentions of patricide and murder in general  
> \- discussions of violence (nothing super specific aside from the murder)  
> \- mentions of blood  
> \- sarah steel being a dick

Juno touches the ground beside me, and he immediately looks like he’s going to vomit. 

I don’t blame him, really. He clearly doesn’t know how to climb a rope, so he basically free-fell down here. 

“Are you alright, dear?” I sigh, offering a hand reluctantly to steady him. He brushes me off, wobbling away. 

“I’m fine. Don’t call me that.” He says, staring up at the sky like he’s never seen it before. “Oh my god… My mom is going to kill me.” 

“Probably.” I examine my nails, leaning back against a tree. They’re chipped so badly, if only I’d known there was a rope..! 

“But holy  _ shit,  _ it’s so much better up close!” Juno exclaims. He isn’t wearing shoes, and his toes dig into the dewy grass. “Does it smell different out here or is that just me?” 

This… could go on for a while. “It’s just you.” 

“Fuck. I’m the worst kid ever. She’s going to be so devastated… What if she thinks I’m dead?” 

“She might think that, yes.” 

“Oh wow, it’s worth it. How did I never know there was a stream here?” He realizes, running into the water and getting himself wet, but he doesn’t seem to mind. “Sarah would love this. I should have gotten permission, shouldn’t I? The world is so dangerous…” 

I start to tune him out as he waffles back and forth between ‘I’m going to die’ and ‘this is the best thing to ever happen to me’. Both direct quotes, mind you. 

“Juno! It’s getting late, we really should get going.” I finally interrupt him in the middle of a heated debate with his… frog? Lizard? Either way, I’ve gathered that her name is Rita. But it’s high noon and the guards will be gone for now… 

“Get going… where?” He asks, placing the amphibian-reptile-thing on his shoulder. 

“Out into the world. Did you not want to see it? Have you really changed your mind that quickly?” My heart jumps at the hope. 

“Oh. No, I’m still coming. But where are  _ you _ going?” Damn it.

“For the moment, I’m going away from here. I don’t think I want to run into your mother.” 

“Yeah, me neither.” Juno admits, taking a deep breath. “Alright. Let’s go.” 

And that is how I ended up walking along a dirt road with a lady, his pet turtle, and his cast iron frying pan. Juno still isn’t wearing shoes, so every few steps is a chorus of pain-filled grumbles. Does he genuinely not own any shoes, or did he just not think he needed them? It’s almost cute how unaware of the world he is… 

“So, what do you do?” He asks me, very out of the blue. 

“You know what I do.” I smirk, raising an eyebrow at him. 

“Yeah, well, aside from the stealing.” Juno rolls his eyes, swinging the frying pan around his finger in a way that makes me worried for everyone’s safety. He trips over a rock and whacks himself in the face.

“I don’t have time for anything else, darling. It’s a little difficult to have hobbies when most of the kingdom is out for your blood.” I chuckle, shaking my head. 

“Hey, didn’t I say not to call me that?” He grouses, rubbing his forehead where the pan hit. 

“No, you said not to call you  _ dear.  _ There have been no guidelines set up around  _ darling.”  _

“Oh. Well- Then I’m making some! Don’t call me that either.” Juno blusters, crossing his arms indignantly. I get the sense that he isn’t great with words.

“Alright, sweetheart.” 

“Nope!” 

“Love? Dearest? Beloved?” 

“None of those, thanks! Juno is fine for now, take me out to dinner first and then we’ll see.” He grumbles, but I can see him blushing. This is turning out to be more fun than I’d anticipated… 

“If your mother ever releases you from her grip of death after this excursion, I’ll take you up on that offer.” I tease, but regret it as soon as he pales. 

“Yeah… Hopefully she won’t ever find out.” 

“So you’re going to go back?” I say, a little gentler than before. I’m no stranger to parental issues. 

“I mean… I think so. I don’t really have any other choice, right? It’s not like I have any other family. She’s all I have, I can’t just abandon her.” Juno’s feet slow, and Rita the toad puts a little hand on his cheek. He seems tired. I understand why, leaving your home and everything you’ve ever known for seemingly the first time is terrifying, to say the least. 

I stop him, a hand on his arm. “It’s getting dark. We should make camp for the night, these roads get treacherous after the sun sets.” He just nods, clearly still thinking about his mother. “Juno?” 

“Huh?” 

“You’re not doing anything wrong, you know.” 

“Oh. Thanks, I guess.” 

I teach him how to build a fire. We’ve made our camp in a little clearing split down the middle by a fallen tree, which we’re using as a bench. Juno is surprisingly strong, and the sight of him carrying wood in from the trees… Well, it’s pleasant. 

Soon enough, night has fallen for real, and we’re both as close to the fire as we can be without touching each other. The silence is awkward for the first time today, and I can practically see the cogs turning in Juno’s head as he tries to think of something to say. Honestly, I don’t mind the quiet. The fire throws flickering shadows across Juno’s face, making him look like something sharp and dangerous and beautiful.  _ Well, more beautiful than he already was _ , I think, and it’s true. It’s a crime to have locked something so wonderful away for so long, but if I had him I’d want to keep him safe too. 

I shake my head. This is not the time. I’m tired and not thinking straight, this day has been too much for me too. 

“Maxime?” 

It’s the first time he’s said my name. Or, at least what he thinks is my name, but either way it sends a shiver down my spine. “Yes?” 

“What’s it like? Doing what you want?” His voice is quiet and soft, barely louder than the crickets. 

“It’s… it’s wonderful. You’re going to like it, Juno. There are so many things you can do, so much you can see.” I pause, a slight smile spreading across my face. “Have you been to the ocean? The crash of the waves is like music.” 

“I don’t know if I’ll make it all the way over there, but it sounds… You’ll have to come back and tell me about it.” He says, my smile mirrored on his features. “This is the first time I’ve left that tower. At all.” 

Ah. I’d wondered, but hearing him actually say it, that he’s  _ never  _ left… “I will. But if you don’t mind my asking, why is it that you’ve never left?” I expect him to turn away, but instead he just sighs, wilting a little bit. 

“I’m… dangerous.” 

I look him up and down. “Are you sure?” 

He shoots me a look that tells me clearly to shut up, so I do. “It’s not visible, idiot.” Juno sighs again, hesitantly pulling off his eyepatch. His eye is a brilliant gold, the same colour as the liquid in that vial he took from me. It seems to illuminate him from the inside out, his whole face washed in that gentle gold light. It’s beautiful. 

“Are you just going to stare at me, Couvert?” He says, shaking me out of my uncomely staring. 

“Apologies. How… how is that dangerous?” I ask, pressing my hands together to keep from reaching out to touch him. 

“Just… Bad things happen. Huge explosions, mostly. That’s why I stay up there, so I don’t hurt people. At least that’s what my mother told me.” Juno admits, quickly putting the patch back on and tamping out the light. I wish I could tell him it’s nothing to be ashamed of. 

“I see. Although really, Juno, that’s nothing. I hate to play the superiority game, but I cause huge explosions on purpose.” I grin, flashing my canines. I know they look especially sharp in the fire by the way Juno gulps. “And I understand what you’re going through with your mother. I… I wasn’t in quite the same situation, but my father made a career out of lying to me, and so I killed him.” I shrug as if those words, that confession, doesn’t still sting me to my very core. 

“You… what?” He coughs, blinking at me. 

“I killed my father.” Stop saying it, you fool- 

“... Why?” 

“It’s a long story.”

“I have time. I mean, I don’t want to push you. Whatever you’re comfortable saying.” Juno adds quickly, but it’s easy to talk to him. I’ve carried this burden alone for far too long, and I probably won’t be seeing Juno Steel ever again after this. I take a deep breath. 

“The kingdom I lived in was one that ruled in terror. The rich were always getting richer, the poorer getting poorer, and if anyone spoke out or refused to comply… We never heard of them again. I was living on the streets when he found me. Obviously neither of us were well off, but he did his best. He wasn’t my real father, but he assumed the position quite nicely. He told me he knew my real father, and I was young, so I believed him. His name was Mag, and he taught me everything I know.” I pull out my knife and twirl it through my fingers to demonstrate. 

“Eventually we decided to do something about the injustices going on below, but when we’d finally fought our way to the King… I realized that without him things would only get worse. Struggles for the throne, civil wars in the streets… I couldn’t let that happen. But Mag could. We argued, and he admitted to everything. He’d never known my father, he’d made up every single one of the stories.” My voice cuts out in poorly concealed anger. I take a breath, smoothing over my features once more. “He didn’t see the point in letting the King live, I didn’t see the point in letting  _ him  _ live. A tale as old as time.” 

What I don’t tell Juno is the absolute anguish I felt as Mag hit the floor. The immediate regret, the horrified stare of the King, the soundless tears that carved paths through the blood on my hands. I don’t tell him any of that, but I know he understands. He understands, but stays silent, and I thank him. 

The fire’s burning low, and in the dim light Juno’s face looks just as it did illuminated in ethereal gold. He’s looking at me, hard eyes suddenly searching. I expected him to look scared. 

“Maxime…” He says after a second that feels like an eternity. 

“That’s not even my name.” I interrupt. I haven’t been  _ honest _ with anyone in far too long, and now I don’t want to stop. 

“Uhh… What?” 

“I didn’t tell you my real name. I’m sorry.” 

“That’s… Okay? Do I get to know your real name or will I just have to call you ‘hey you’ for the rest of the time I know you?” 

“Peter Nureyev.” 

Juno murmurs it under his breath, like he’s testing how it feels in his mouth. “So… Peter Nureyev. You know what, I like it better than Maxime Couvert. Maxime fit you too well, but this one is just the right amount of wrong. Peter Nureyev…” He repeats, grinning. Oh, God. I have to make him stop talking before I fall in love with him. The way he says my name… For once, I don’t have the words for it. 

“Enough about me. Where are you headed?” 

“Oh. Uhh, I guess just wherever you are. I haven’t really thought about it.” 

No. I can’t let him do that, the only reason I told him all that was because I knew I’d never see him again- “I don’t think that would be good. For either of us. I will take you somewhere and then we can part as friends.” I tell him, ignoring the way my heart protests when I say ‘friends’. 

Juno opens his mouth to protest, but he must see the look on my face because he thinks better of it. I feel bad for the complete change in emotions so suddenly, but I work alone. It’s better that way for everyone. 

We sit in stifling silence until the fire burns itself out and the darkness envelops us completely.

\---

I’m worried about Juno. 

He was acting very strange before I left yesterday, quieter than usual. I tell him I’m going to get him something for his birthday, but I circle back before I’m even a day away. It’ll be a nice surprise for him, all cooped up in that tower alone! The little monster is always complaining about how bored he is… 

The lights are off in the window. “Juno! Let down the ladder!” I call. Even when he’s asleep, he usually hears me. I wait for ten minutes and call for him twice more. 

Something is wrong. Something is very wrong. 

In a panic, I rush to the staircase hidden behind a thin layer of stone and run faster than I ever have before to get into the tower. It’s dark, completely so. Still and full of dust. 

The dishes still haven’t been washed. 

I tear through the whole tower, checking under everything from furniture to books. Eventually, I come to terms with the fact that Juno Steel has escaped. No, not escaped. He  _ left.  _ That wretched, ungrateful little…  _ monster.  _ This is how he repays me for protecting him, having his best interests at heart? He breaks my heart and flees our house? I’ll show him what happens when he disobeys me. As I walk down the stairs to the window, one of them creaks louder than usual. 

It’s loose… And there’s something inside it. A glass jar of something gold. Interesting. I pocket it. 

I’m leaving the clearing when something catches my eye, something I haven’t seen before. A patrol of guards hanging posters. For a second a spike of panic runs through me. Are they looking for me? But no, the posters show a handsome young man. 

_ THE THIEF WITHOUT A NAME - WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE FOR THE THEFT OF THE CUREMOTHER PRIME  _

There is a picture of this ‘curemother prime’ and even in the simple ink drawing I can see the resemblance to the vial in my pocket. I flag down the guards, one of whom is riding a strapping horse with a tag on her harness reading ‘RUBY’. 

“Excuse me, officers! I think I know where your thief is.” 

You learn something new every day, don’t you? 

Today I learned that royal guards are worryingly easy to bribe. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> the more i write of this the more i realize how well it fits.... also yes i do keep writing peter and juno meeting so i can describe them over and over and nobody can make fun of me


	3. mother knows best

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sarah pays Juno an unwelcome visit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw/tws for:   
> \- sarah steel's a+ parenting

Nureyev looks so innocent when he sleeps. 

He’s so… still. None of the darting eyes and shifting hands. It makes me wonder when the last time he actually slept was… 

But it’s not like I’m watching him. Casual observation! I mean, we woke up tangled together so it’s kind of difficult  _ not  _ to look at him. But it’s not like I’m noticing the little tiny freckles under his eyes or that one strand of hair that just won’t stay in place or the way his sharp canines poke out over his bottom lip. Not on purpose, anyways. 

Carefully, I wiggle my way out of his grip and busy myself trying to get ready for the day. There isn’t much to do. It’s not like I brush my hair on a regular day, but now I don’t even have anything to do it with… I bet Peter brought a whole goddamn bathroom with him. 

Yeah… Peter Nureyev, huh? It’s strange to wrap my head around everything he told me last night. What a bombshell to drop on someone you’ve just met, right? “Hey, I killed my dad and that’s not my real name”! Although, to be fair, I did pull the same shit on him, so we can call it even. 

But that emotional 180… One minute he’s looking at me like he’s about to kiss me and the next he can’t get rid of me fast enough. I want to forget he ever said that, I want to pretend I never said anything either. 

I like Nureyev a lot more when he’s sleeping, I’ve decided. You don’t have to worry he’ll break your heart and then slit your throat while he’s sleeping. 

Rita is curled up in a little ball on one of the still-warm rocks by the fire, and I nudge her awake. She seems suspicious of Nureyev, and I think he thinks she’s a gecko. Hopefully they won’t have to endure each other for long… No use getting attached to him if Rita doesn’t like him, that would be a bad time for everyone. You know what they say… hell hath no fury like Rita. Most people are surprised by the amount of damage a passive-aggressive chameleon can cause. 

“Good morning.” Peter says from behind me, and I jump. 

“How the hell did you get there so fast?!” I growl, my hand over the handle of the frying pan. My heart is thrumming like a hummingbird’s, definitely because of the scare and not because Nureyev in the morning is a sight I didn’t know I was missing in my life. 

“It’s called stepping lightly, Juno, you ought to try it sometime.” He teases lightly. “It’s a shame you got up, I was cold as soon as you left.” Nureyev tells me, arching his back like a cat in the sun to stretch out his shoulders. Damn him, he doesn’t even look like he spent a night on the forest floor… I kinda wanna punch him. 

“So what’s on the agenda for today? Also, did you bring any food?” I ask, before I actually do punch him. 

“Walking, my dear. A lot more walking.” He hums, fixing his hair, though I literally cannot see a single thing wrong with it. “There are some apples in the front pocket of my bag.” 

“Don’t call me that.” I grumble, but honestly I don’t mind it so much anymore. The guy just told me his life story, and it was  _ rough. _ And the look on his face as he was telling me… You can’t fake that kind of thing. Jesus, I’ve known him for a day and I could already ace an exam on the guy. I grab an apple from the bag. “You don’t have any water, do you?” 

“No. That’s the only task before walking, actually.” 

“I’d offer to go get some, but…” I have never been here, or anywhere, before in my life. Nureyev just nods and grabs the flask from beside him. 

“Back in a flash, Juno. Don’t go anywhere.” He winks, disappearing into the trees. If I could go somewhere, I would, but for right now I’m stranded in the middle of the woods with only Rita, an apple, and some charred logs. 

I wish I didn’t have to rely on Nureyev for everything, but it seems to be my only option. I’d end up wandering off a cliff with my luck… I should probably tell him where to take me pretty soon, but the thing is, I have _no idea_ where I want him to take me. He’s made it pretty clear I won’t be travelling with him, so there’s that out of the question… What the hell did he expect me to say? _I have_ _never left that tower in my life!_ Did he want me to have a list of travel hotspots ready to go? 

I get up, starting to pace the clearing, but then I hear footsteps behind me. Damn, I knew Nureyev was quick but that trip barely took two minutes- 

“Hello, little monster.” 

That is not Peter. I whirl around, fumbling for the frying pan, a stick, something to help me ward her off. Rita crawls under a log. Some help she is… Shit, I knew Sarah was paranoid, but how the hell did she find me? 

“Mother. What- Why-” I say, stepping back as quickly as possible. 

“Oh, I just came to check on my gorgeous little lady and see how he’s doing on his big trip!” She simpers, reaching out to brush a hand against my face. 

“How did you find me.” I ask, batting her away. 

“It was easy, Juno! I just listened for the sound of complete and utter betrayal and it led me here. What a coincidence! Now come, we can still make it back in time for dinner if we hurry.” She reaches for my wrist, but I pull away again. 

“I’m not going with you.” 

“Of course you are! I’m your mother.” 

“I don’t think you heard me properly.  _ I’m not going with you. _ ” 

She stops trying to pull me along. She stops everything, in fact. Sarah just looks at me, her eyes cold and hard as… well, as steel. 

“It’s because of that  _ thief _ , isn’t it?” She says, voice razor sharp. When she gets in this mood, it’s better to just shut up and not say anything at all, but this one day of freedom has clearly knocked the sense out of me. 

“No, it’s because of  _ you _ . I’m not going back to being trapped there.” I reply. If there is one thing I learned from my mom, it’s how to deliver a verbal blow. Sarah flinches back. 

“Fine, then. You want me to be the bad guy? He’s going to abandon you, Juno. Why would you want to trust a thief? Do you even know his name? There are warrants out for his arrest, and if you’re caught with him you’re  _ both  _ going to the gallows.” She snarls. 

“He won’t leave me.” At least not yet.

“You don’t think so? Give him this.” She pulls out that little golden vial from her pocket. “You can’t hide anything from me, little monster. I knew what you were up to immediately. So here, give your precious thief the thing he’s after and see how long he lasts.” 

I take it, numb. I hate to admit it, but I think she’s right… Nureyev is only doing this because I have something he wants and he knows it. I threatened him, no wonder he agreed to chaperone me… shit. 

“Now, if you really insist on being Miss Independent, I’ll leave. But just remember what happened to the last person you were close to, hm? You don’t want to ruin his life any more than you already have. And  _ don’t  _ come crying back to me when it turns out I was right. I’ve had enough of your whining for a lifetime.” Sarah tells me, starting away from the clearing. Just before she goes, she turns back to look at me. “See you soon, Juno.” 

And then she’s gone, and it’s like she was never even here except for the vial in my hands and the ice in my heart. 

The vial… Nureyev said it wasn’t a poison, but I don’t know how much I trust him, especially after that talk with Sarah. She may be horrible, but she brings up good points… How do I know Peter Nureyev is his real name? He could just be telling me another fake to build up false confidence. I do believe what he told me about his father, but the things around it are less certain. I tuck the little jar into my pocket. Peter should be coming back soon, and with his quiet footsteps he could be right behind me already… 

“I’m back.” He says, right behind me already. 

“GAH! Stop doing that!” I snarl, sounding too much like my mother. Even though I was mostly expecting him to do that, it still got me. 

“You look like you’re about to fight something, darling, is everything alright?” Peter sounds genuinely concerned, resting a gentle hand on my shoulder. I flinch, and he quickly pulls it away. 

“I’m fine. Just thinking of where you can drop me off.” I mumble, pushing past him to pick up Rita from the log she’s hiding under. Nureyev seems confused, and… maybe a little hurt? The man is ridiculously hard to read, but I don’t think he has the right to be either of those things. He’s the one who pushed me away first. “Let’s just get going.” 

And so we do. The walk is quieter than before, and Peter is focused on the path ahead of us, so I take the opportunity to analyze his face. I can’t tell if his neutrality is a mask or just how he’s feeling… Goddamn him and his impressive poker face. 

I keep coming back to his name. I wonder how many other aliases he’s gone as over the years… is Peter Nureyev just one more in a long line, or did he tell me the truth in an accidental moment of honesty?  _ Was  _ it even an accident? Did he mean to tell me his real name? If so, why the hell is he so eager to push me away…? 

Oh. Maybe he’s so eager to push me away  _ because  _ he was so honest… Nureyev seems like a man who can’t have stains on his record. I guess… I guess I’d be a stain. 

I’m going to trust him. For now, at least. I don’t know if that’s his real name, but I think I am starting to know  _ him,  _ for better or for worse. 

Nureyev spots a flyer stapled to one of the trees and pulls it off. “Oh, hell. They’ve already put the wanted signs up…” He sighs, showing me the poster. It’s him alright, though they don’t seem to know his name either. “They never do get my nose right, do they? You’ve spent enough time looking at me, you can attest to that.” 

I open my mouth to retort, but then somebody speaks over me. “I think we got your nose just fine,  _ thief. _ ” 

A man is hovering over us on a magnificent horse, sword pointed at Nureyev’s throat. The badge on his chest reads ‘LT. ENGSTROM’. 

Oh, fuck. 

The royal guard. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> nureyev always being cold and juno always being warm >>>>>


	4. escape route

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nureyev and Juno run into some... difficulties.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw/tws:  
> \- violence  
> \- claustrophobia  
> \- fear in general  
> \- near death experiences  
> \- past character death & grief 
> 
> pls lmk if there are any i've missed!! this chapter has some heavy bits 
> 
> also just a disclaimer i have absolutely no clue how old they are in this fic. older than 19, younger than 50 is pretty much the age range here

And so we run. 

Nureyev is faster than I am, but that doesn’t really matter since Ruby the horse is faster than both of us. We’re dodging in and out of trees, trying to buy as much time as possible before our inevitable and tragic demise. 

I can’t even think beyond a constant stream of ‘Shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit’ with the occasional sprinkling of ‘Oh god Sarah was right I am going to die’. I can’t die doing something my mother predicted would happen! But then Nureyev is right there and he’s taking my hand and I’m running faster than I ever have before until the terrain evens out and we find ourselves in the bottom of some sort of quarry. 

It’s clearly not operational. The wooden scaffolding looks rickety at best… It doesn’t give me much confidence that it looks especially bad around the dam. Nureyev squeezes my hand, which I hadn’t realized he was still holding, as Ruby and Engstrom finally find us. There is nowhere else to go, they’re blocking the only entrance and all the exits are just… too far away. I heft my ridiculous frying pan and tuck Rita safely into my pocket as Nureyev draws his knife. I guess we’re going to go down swinging, then. I’ve done dumber things. 

Engstrom slides off of Ruby’s back, drawing his own sword. He starts circling us slowly, but Ruby has other plans. She knocks into Engstrom, stealing his sword and charging at Nureyev. Baffled, he fights back. What else is he going to do when the most gorgeous horse I have ever seen in my life charges him with a sword in her mouth? 

I’m so distracted watching them fight that I nearly miss Engstrom coming around my blind side. It’s a nice try, but when you have Rita performing flying tackles on you religiously, you learn to guard yourself. My pan meets his backup sword with a jolting clang, and it is then that I remember I have no idea how to do this. Nope, no time for panic! Live in the moment and do NOT get distracted by Nureyev fighting a horse. 

Learning things on the fly has never been my strong suit, but at least I have the hand-eye coordination to meet all of Engstrom’s slashes and jabs. He fights desperately, like something is hinging on him beating a one-eyed lady into the ground. What that might be is completely unknown to me, and I decide to figure that mystery out later. He’s getting harsher, and I’m being backed into a corner. 

“Hey, uh… you?” I call to Peter, not wanting to give away his name. Something tells me he likes being the nameless thief, at least most of the time. I just hope he gets that I’m talking to him and not the horse… “I need some help over here!” Engstrom lashes out again, his blade just barely missing my arm as I duck. 

Nureyev turns briefly to look at me, and I can practically hear his sigh of frustration from here. “There’s a tunnel over there! If you get inside, I’ll deal with it from there!” He calls back, tucking and rolling under Ruby. He comes up at her side and swings onto her back with her trying her very hardest to shake him off.

Meanwhile, Engstrom hasn’t tired at all. Look, he might have an advantage over me seeing as I’ve never done this before etcetera etcetera but how the hell is he still standing? A good few whacks from a frying pan against your sword has got to be draining. Either way, I let him press me back further, resounding clashes echoing across the gorge, until I’m standing at the mouth of the tunnel. 

Finally, I hit him in the gut. It’s a lucky strike, but it still gives me time to catch my breath for a minute. “I’m here, what do you want me to do now?” I ask, glancing up to see Peter wrestling desperately with a horse who would like nothing more than to buck him off. 

“Just stay there, darling, I’m-” He cuts off as Ruby reaches around to bite at his boots. I have no idea what he was going to say, but I’m sure it was very encouraging. Engstrom tries to get back up, so I whack him in the head. He’ll probably be fine. 

“Do you need any help? Turns out frying pans are very effective!” I shout, but Peter and Ruby are careening across the manmade canyon, flailing wildly towards… 

The dam. 

He wants to knock out the dam. 

Even one good kick to a supporting pillar on that thing would bring it crashing down, and seeing as I’d like to live, that’s not something I’m interested in. The wall of the dam is supporting all the other scaffolding in this place, so if it goes, so does everything else, but he’s going too fast to stop now. He and Ruby seem to have agreed on this, since the bucking has stopped. 

It’s like a horrible, fatal game of chicken. 

Have you ever heard a man on horseback break down a dam in a single hit? I don’t recommend it. When Nureyev hits the central pillar, the crunch is sickening. For a second I worry that it’s his bones, but then he comes sprinting out of the dust with Ruby hot on his heels. The horse realizes she won’t make it to us and tumbles into another tunnel, but Peter is determined. He keeps coming. 

And then everything breaks. 

It’s still for a minute, just a wall of murky water held up by nothing, but then everything rushes down all at one. The walkways above us collapse, debris raining over my head. I usher Peter into the tunnel just before its entrance collapses, the waves slamming against the rocks as the dust settles. 

“Holy shit, Nureyev.” I wheeze, doubling over to catch my breath. 

“Quite.” He agrees, seeming a little winded himself, though managing it much more gracefully than I do. “Are you alright, Juno? You did well, fighting that guard.” 

“I’m good, but what about you? You literally just brought down an entire dam with one hit. That’s gotta be at least a concussion…” 

“You know I’ve done worse, dear, so don’t you worry.” 

“You’ve done  _ worse? _ Like what?” I snort. He shoots me a pointed look. “Oh yeah. Whoops.” 

“Whoops indeed. Shall we?” Nureyev asks, gesturing down the long, damp hallway. 

It’s dark. Really dark. I can barely see my own hand in front of my face, let alone the ground in front of me… I wish I had shoes. Walking around an abandoned construction site in bare feet was not my brightest idea. 

“I really, really hope this takes us out of here…” I mutter. 

“It will. I’ve taken this route countless times, and unless the other entrance has caved in as well, which I doubt, we’ll be fine.” He says, fumbling for my arm to steady himself. I let him, glad for the assistance myself. “It’s never been so dark before, though…” 

“That… doesn’t sound like a good sign. Hey, how certain are you that the other end hasn’t collapsed?” 

“54% sure, and dwindling the closer we get.” 

“Wow! Super reassuring! Thank you so much!” 

We walk the rest of the way in silence, ignoring the water starting to trickle by our feet. Well, less  _ ignoring _ and more  _ desperately hoping this passageway isn’t about to flood _ . And then lo and behold, just as we’d suspected. 

We’re blocked in. 

Seems like the tremors from the dam breaking were worse than Peter had suspected, seeing as when he slips his hand into mine, it’s clammy with dread. It doesn’t help that the rivers of water have graduated from a leak to a pour. 

“Hey, Nureyev?” 

“Mhm?” 

“... We’re fucked, aren’t we?” 

“I hate to admit it, but quite possibly.” His voice sounds strange. It reminds me of that flash of panic in his eyes when I first met him, but much,  _ much  _ worse. I squeeze his hand. I don’t know exactly what the protocol is for comforting someone in a dark chamber rapidly filling with water, but until I learn, this will have to do. 

Speaking of water, it’s already up to my calves, and it’s  _ cold.  _ It almost feels like it’s trying to suck the warmth out of me… Rita squeaks in alarm from my pocket. 

Shit, I’d forgotten she was in there. I lift her out and hold her in front of my face, letting her press her forehead to mine. “Sorry for getting you into this, Rita. You’ve been a really great friend.” 

She chirps a soft reply, and although I can tell that Peter really wants to say something about this, he doesn’t. Maybe he has more decency than I thought… 

Just as the water reaches my waist, Nureyev gasps. “Juno! Your eye! You said that it causes explosions? Now would be an excellent time for one of those.” He gestures to the wall of rubble. 

“Are you crazy? I can’t!” 

“Yes you can! It’s our only way out of here.” 

“Nope, no! We’ll find another way, there has to be one-” 

Nureyev takes my other hand, holding me in place. The water is rising faster. “We are literally going to die if you don’t try.  _ Please!”  _

“Yeah, well you’ll also die if I do use it!” 

He pauses. “What do you mean?” 

“I’m dangerous, Nureyev, I already told you!” My voice breaks. Oh, god, I’m going to have to tell him. I’m going to have to tell him about what happened to the last person who trusted me and he’s going to leave, I know it. 

Mother was right. 

“Yes, but what does that  _ mean? _ ” 

“I hurt people! I… Okay, we don’t have a lot of time for this, so I’ll make it short.” I take a deep breath. “I had a brother. Benzaiten. We were nineteen, and I hadn’t started wearing the eyepatch yet. I wanted to try and escape, but he told me I shouldn’t. Things got heated  _ really  _ fast, and he called me a coward, and then all of a sudden… he was on the ground and my eye was bleeding.” I try to sound like I’m not falling apart just remembering it, but I don’t think he buys it. My chest is so tight it feels like if you pricked me with a pin I’d pop. 

Peter’s hands move up to cup my face, and I can’t tell if they’re cold from the chest-level water or if that’s just how he is. “Juno…” 

“So I’m sorry, I really can’t. I can’t kill anyone else, Nureyev.” I’m shuddering, and he presses closer. 

“Juno.” He says again. I’ve never heard him sound like this, or anyone for that matter. So soft, like he’s afraid even his voice could shatter me. My name sounds so nice in his mouth. 

And then he kisses me. 

I wasn’t expecting it. I doubt anyone could ever fully anticipate what kissing Peter Nureyev is like, but let me tell you, whatever you’re thinking, it’s better. 

He’s so cold, but suddenly I’m warmed from head to toe. It’s the kind of kiss where you think you know what you’re getting yourself into but then suddenly you’re at the bottom of the pool and you’re absolutely fine with that. 

I’d stand at the bottom of the goddamn ocean if it meant he’d kiss me like this again. 

It’s over altogether too soon, in my opinion, but the water is at my shoulders and I need to breathe. 

“Juno Steel, I’m not going to be upset  _ if _ this is where I go out. You’re the first person I’ve cared about in a very long time. But more importantly, I trust you to get us out of here.” Nureyev whispers, his long fingers tangling in my hair. 

I groan internally. Stupid Peter Nureyev, with his stupid hair and his stupid eyes and his stupid mouth. He’s really going to make me do something drastic, huh?

I tear my eyepatch off just as the water closes over my head. 

For one dizzyingly terrifying moment, everything is as still and dark as before, and then it happens. 

The flash of gold is just as dizzying and terrifying as the dark, but it does the job just fine. The rubble breaks apart, sending me tumbling into the reinvigorated riverbed below. That searing gold heat is gone just as suddenly as it came, just like with Ben. Like it was never even there in the first place. 

I grasp at the riverbank and haul my soaking wet ass out of the freezing water, immediately checking to see if Rita’s okay. She gives me a little thumbs up from my pocket. Then I check for the vial. Also accounted for. Next I look around for Nureyev, and my heart plummets for a second when I don’t see him, but then that unforgettable head of black hair breaks the surface and I swear I almost cry. 

Grasping at his arms, I pull him out too, and we collapse into a heap on the grass. “You good, Nureyev?” I ask. I’m hesitant to look at him. What if I’ve scared him off? I wouldn’t blame him, I just dumped a lot of shit on him he never needed to know and then destroyed a stone wall with magic. 

Peter doesn’t even answer me, just pulls me in to kiss him again. Somehow, in the three minutes since he kissed me last, I forgot how good it was. 

When he pulls away we’re both breathless, and he takes my face in his (now slightly warmer) hands just like he did in the tunnel. “You are a marvel and quite possibly a goddess, Juno Steel.” 

“I’m taking that to mean you’re okay, then?” 

“So much more than okay.” Nureyev is grinning, those darting eyes finally still as he looks at me. Having his entire attention is almost intoxicating. 

“Good to know.” I murmur, and then a shiver runs through me so strong I bite my tongue. “As great as this is, we should probably make a fire before we die. I’ve had enough almost dying for a lifetime.” 

“Fair point, my dear. You’re not getting away from me that easily.” He says, getting up and offering me a hand which I take gratefully. 

The fire takes no time at all to assemble, which is good because I feel like I could collapse at any second. This time around, we’re not afraid to press together. I’m sitting against Peter’s chest, his chin tucked on top of my head. Usually I would hate to admit it, but right now I don’t mind saying that I feel safe. It’s easy to feel that way around Nureyev, no matter how many near-death experiences we get ourselves into. It just seems like he knows what he’s doing, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s a great pillow. 

I’m almost asleep by the time he speaks. It’s quiet, so I nearly miss it. “You’re not wearing your eyepatch.” 

“Shit, sorry. Good catch.” I rummage through my pockets to find it, only for Peter to hand it to me. “How..?”

“You’re easy to rob, darling.” He teases. I go to put it on, but he stills my hands. “If you want to put it back on, that’s alright, but I don’t mind if you leave it off. You look gorgeous in gold.” 

“I… thank you.” I’m really not sure what to say. What incredible deed did I do to have Peter Nureyev in my life? “I think… I think I need some more time to get used to it, though.” 

Nureyev nods his understanding, and takes the patch from me once more. His deft fingers are much better at tying knots than mine. 

“Would you like to talk about it?” Peter asks after a minute, absently tracing shapes over my arms. 

“Hm?” 

“About your magic. Your brother and such.” 

“Oh. I s’pose we should, huh?” I sigh, settling further into his chest. I’ve gotta say, this is a lot easier when I don’t have to look at him. “Benzaiten and I were twins. I think Sarah only planned for one of us, though. She thought one of us was a changeling or something, and she’d tell us that constantly… One of us was an impostor, one of us wasn't her real child, one of us wasn’t real. But Benten always saw the good in her. He was always the one to forgive her first after a particularly bad night, always the one to listen without question, even during those particularly bad nights. It was so difficult, because he was so  _ bright.  _ He deserved a life outside that tower so much more than I do and now… Look at where we are.” 

Nureyev’s hands on my arms slow to a stop, and he tilts my chin back so he can kiss my forehead. “You deserve this life too. You blind me with your brightness, dear heart.” He murmurs. 

I brush past the butterflies that the compliment and the new pet name bring, and continue on. “After… you know, everything, happened with him, Sarah told me it was my fault. And it  _ was _ , it  _ is _ . It was up to me to control myself and I- I failed. I can deal with that much, but she just keeps bringing it up, every time I see her. And now with you, when you said you trusted me… All I could hear was my mother’s voice reminding me that Ben trusted me too. Ben cared about me too, and I let him down.” 

It feels good to talk about this, even if every time I say his name another piece of shrapnel embeds itself in my chest. 

“You didn’t let me down, though, Juno. You were absolutely spectacular. We would have died if not for you.” Peter reminds me gently. He’s right, of course he is, but it’s still going to take me some time to actually believe it. It’s going to take me a long time to forgive myself for Benten, but this… This is a step in the right direction. “You’re not wrong for wanting something better for the two of you, either.” He adds. 

“Thanks, Nureyev. Seriously.” It’s quiet for a minute before I speak again “So… you got any more heavy stuff you wanna share, or did you exhaust your supply last night?” 

“I never run out of heavy things to share, but I think for right now we should move on to some lighter topics. For example, that horse I fought back in the canyon?” 

“Oh my god, Ruby! I saw her nametag. She was gorgeous, how does a member of the royal guard get a horse as nice as that?” I say, cracking a smile. 

“And she was so smart…” He sighs, stroking his fingers through my hair. He really never does run out of little gestures, does he? “She was a very competent swordfighter! I hope she made it out of there okay…” 

“Don’t worry, I saw her run into another tunnel. Hopefully she had more luck than us…”

“She probably did, with wits like that. Maybe we’ll meet again someday…” Nureyev sighs. 

“You talk like you’re in love with her, Nureyev.” I laugh, shaking my head slightly. 

“So what if I am? A magnificent horse like her is surely not a bad candidate for my affections, although I admit I can think of a better one…” He teases, kissing me again. 

We lapse into another comfortable silence. Did he just say…? No, not a good time to think about that. I can analyze this conversation in the morning. For now I’ll just be warm and safe and at least a little happy with a man I… care a lot about. 

“Juno?” Nureyev asks again, making me tune back in. 

“Yeah?” 

“Did you still want to travel with me?” 

“I mean, if you’ll have me…” I reply, fighting hard to keep my voice level. 

“Of course I would. You’ve proven today that you’re an asset, an excellent kisser, and I really don’t know if I could part with you and let you go back to your mother.” 

“Nureyev, you sap.” I tease, an absolutely ridiculous grin spreading across my face. “So where are we going?” 

“Somewhere they don’t know me yet. I’ll sell that vial I stole, which will assuredly provide us with the means to live however we please.” 

“Speaking of that vial… I, uh, have something to give to you.” Please don’t be a mistake, please don’t be a mistake, please don’t be a mistake- 

I pull the shimmery jar out of my pocket and hand it back to him. The fact that it’s still there at all is a point to him, seeing as I am apparently very easy to rob. 

“Oh, Juno…” He breathes, and I can’t tell if his voice is sad or grateful. Hopefully the latter. Please be the latter… 

“I mean, if we’re going to travel together… Just don’t walk out on me, okay? I’d never be able to find my way back on my own.” I say it jokingly, but I am absolutely serious. “But can I ask what the hell that is?” 

Nureyev laughs. “I forget you’ve never been outside sometimes. This is the curemother prime, the cure to everything that has ever ailed man. Illness, injury, heartbreak… A single drop from this vial could sell for millions of dollars.” 

“... Woah.” 

“Woah is very correct. It’s been coveted by thieves everywhere since it was found and bought by Queen Buddy. I stole it directly from her private chambers.” I can’t see his face, but his voice betrays his pride. I don’t blame him. That is really,  _ really  _ impressive. 

“And nobody even knows your name. Damn, Peter Nureyev, you really know how to make a lady feel special.” I grin, leaning my head back to look at him. He’s smiling too, open and toothy. God, his teeth… 

“Being a thief without a name is no fun if there’s no speculation, and speculation is no fun unless it’s rooted in truth.” He tells me with a wink. 

I go to say something, but end up yawning instead. Nureyev laughs quietly, kissing my forehead. “Go to sleep, dear Juno. I’ll still be here when you wake up.” He murmurs, wrapping his arms around my waist. 

And to my surprise, I believe him completely. 

It’s the best I’ve slept in years. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and then nothing bad happened to them ever again :)
> 
> is it juno who has the thing for teeth or is it me? we shall never know.


	5. realization and escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Big Showdown. popcorn sold for 50$/kernel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cw/tws for this chapter:  
> \- non consensual drug use (peter gets drugged)  
> \- being tied up  
> \- lots of gaslighting and emotional abuse (when i say lots i mean Lots)  
> \- implied/referenced physical abuse   
> \- just generally sarah steel being a stellar parent   
> \- idk how to phrase this but nureyev had to dislocate both his wrists so  
> \- violence  
> \- blood  
> \- death  
> \- grief
> 
> whew that is a lot but i would much rather have too many warnings than too little :') 
> 
> also juno is the ultimate mother hen in this chapter. im here for it

I wake up to Juno’s mother and a knockout drug. 

Before I can even make a sound, she’s covering my mouth and my limbs are heavy. I should have been more vigilant, I let my guard down, she’s going to hurt him- But I can’t even fight, because my eyes are falling shut and I find I don’t have the strength to open them. 

_ I told him I’d be there when he woke up! _

I don’t expect to wake again, but I do. I’m chained to the steering wheel of a small boat by my wrists, floating down the river. My fists clench, exploring the strength of the bindings, not wanting to struggle until I know what I’ve gotten myself into, and I discover there’s something strapped to my hand. 

Even in the dark, that gold glow is visible. The curemother. 

All the pieces slot together in my head. Juno will think I’ve abandoned him now that I have what I came for, and Sarah will swoop in and drag him back to his tower, or somewhere worse. 

Somewhere I won’t be able to find him again. 

And  _ that  _ is when I start to struggle. 

\---

“What did I tell you, my little monster?” Sarah coos, running a hand through my hair in a gesture that is probably meant to be comforting, but instead it just reminds me of Nureyev. 

I trusted him, I really did. Why, I’m not sure, because as it turns out two days is not long enough to know somebody. 

“It’s not your fault, Juno. You’re just young and naive, so he took advantage of you. That’s what happens in the world!” She tells me, pulling me close. “Now do you regret leaving the tower? Do you realize that I really did have your best interests at heart? Mother knows best, after all.” 

But I don’t say anything. Something doesn’t make sense here, but that might just be my brain clouded with Peter’s betrayal. I’m just… young and naive. I should have known better. So I let Sarah bring me back to the tower. 

She brings me up to my room and pats me on the head. “Get some sleep. We can talk about this in the morning.” 

I’m not tired, but I don’t tell her so. Anything to make her leave me alone so I can sort out my feelings. Sarah Steel shuts the door, and Rita climbs out of my pocket and up onto my shoulder. She rests her little head against my cheek, and I’m glad to have someone who understands what I went through, even if that person is a chameleon. 

So  _ much _ happened! I met Nureyev, I left the tower, I fought a  _ royal guard  _ with a frying pan, I almost died like three times, I… I can’t tell if I felt anything real for Nureyev. It could have all been in my head, or just more of his manipulations… Either way, it clearly doesn’t matter anymore, because he finally purged this stain off his record. 

Over the next two days, things start to fall back into their normal patterns. 

I pace the main room, Mother snipes at me, Rita stays out of view. It’s the same as before, but now I’m  _ angry.  _ Not just at Peter. I saw the world, I liked it, and I am determined to find my way out there again. 

The topic of my escape has been tactfully avoided on my part, and purposefully alluded to on Sarah’s. I’m not going to let her make me feel bad this time. I know that she lied about what was out there, and she knows that too. 

_ “You’re not doing anything wrong, you know.”  _ Nureyev’s words echo back to me. Whether he meant them or not, he was right. I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m not doing anything wrong, I’m not doing anything wrong. I am allowed to live my own life. 

“Juno? Come here.” Sarah calls. I enter the room to find her sitting in that tall-backed chair, the one she’d sit in to tell Ben and I stories in front of the fire. Seeing her sitting there like nothing has changed… It makes me mad.  _ Everything  _ has changed. 

“Sit.” She says, gesturing to the ottoman. Clearly she either doesn’t notice or ignores the indignant look on my face. I sit anyway. “It’s time we talk about your little… excursion.” 

“What’s there to talk about? Haven’t you made your point?”

“No. You betrayed me, Juno. My own child, leaving me alone to grow old and die… I’m sorry for being such a horrible person. You were right to leave me, and I won’t be angry if you leave again.” She sniffs. This is a trap, I can already tell. There’s a glint of… something in her eyes, and it’s a something I’ve seen many times before. This is a  _ trap _ . 

But I fall into it anyways. “Cut the bullshit, Sarah. We both know you’re not sorry, so stop pulling this.” 

“I was just looking out for you! I was trying to  _ protect  _ you, and this is how you thank me? Breaking my heart and betraying my trust?” She says, flipping to play the victim with practised ease. 

“Stop it! You weren’t trying to protect me. I’ve been out there now, and I’m pretty sure what I saw wasn’t the nice bit. I managed just fine, and you’re being selfish. Why do you even want to keep me here?” I say, ignoring that familiar pang of guilt. I’m not letting her off the hook that easily. 

“You wouldn’t have made it ten steps without that thief stringing you along. I know you better than anyone, and trust me, you’re weak. I’m the  _ only  _ one who can protect you.” Sarah says, avoiding my last question, grabbing my chin and forcing me to look at her. The feeling of her hand on my face makes my skin crawl, bringing back memories of times when she wasn’t being nearly so gentle. 

I swallow, pushing down the festering fear in my stomach. “You’re  _ wrong. _ I don’t care whether ‘that thief’ was lying or not, those two days were the best I’ve ever had, because  _ you weren’t there. _ ” 

By the look on her face, I can tell I’ve struck a nerve.  _ Stop talking, dumbass!  _ But I don’t, I push forward. “You don’t keep me here because I’m dangerous, or to protect me, or whatever you tell yourself to stay sane. You keep me here because you’re a lonely, sad old woman. You keep me here because you need me to feel powerful. If I was gone you’d just be some tired witch with a mean streak.  _ You’re  _ the weak one, mother.” 

Her grip tightens on my chin, and I have a brief second of ‘I’m fucked’ before I’m being dragged up the stairs by the elbow. Sarah’s nails cut into my skin, her fingertips pressed hard enough to bruise. She throws me into my room, and honestly? I expected much worse. She must be really shaken… I almost feel bad. 

“You, my ungrateful little  _ monster,  _ will stay here forever. You are never leaving this  _ room _ , let alone the tower, until your bones are decaying in a shallow grave.” She snarls. I catch a glimpse of her wild eyes before the door slams so hard dust is shaken from the ceiling, and I get the feeling I’ve dodged a bullet. The lock clicks from the other side. 

Rita pokes her head out from under the bed just as I collapse on top of it, my heart hammering. I’m pretty sure that’s the most I’ve ever stood up to her… And I’m proud of myself. 

I only get a few minutes of quiet before I hear tapping at the window. Thinking it must be a bird or something, I open it, only for Peter goddamn Nureyev to tumble onto my floor. 

“Wh- I- How are you here?  _ Why  _ are you here?” I bluster. He’s scuffed and damp and disheveled for the first time, possibly ever. “You fucking- You  _ abandoned  _ me!” 

“Juno. Thank god you’re alright.” He sighs, the tension visibly leaving his shoulders. 

“ _ What?  _ I’m fine, but you have things to answer to!” 

“Right. Of course. I didn’t abandon you.” Nureyev says, raising a finger to stop me protesting before I even open my mouth. “Your mother. She kidnapped me, shackled me to a boat and pushed me out into the river. She wanted to make you think I didn’t care, that I was only in it for the payout. I’m not, not since I met you. Please believe me.” He pleads, that now-familiar panic clear as day on his face as he clutches my hands. 

I think I do believe him. The poker face is gone, and there’s only him, pale, shaking and dripping on my bedroom floor. If this is all part of a con, it’s an impossibly good one. 

“Oh my god,  _ Nureyev _ .” I relent, falling into him. He’s so  _ cold _ , but I can’t tell whether his shaking is from the chill or the relief of finding me safe. 

He hugs me tight, burying his face in my hair, and I’m pretty sure I know which. 

“How did you get out?” I ask after a minute, pulling away to look at him. I don’t think he has any injuries beyond scrapes until he holds up his wrists, bruised and slightly swollen. 

“I had to dislocate them to get out of there. Fortunately, I know how to pop my bones back into place. And plus, Ruby the horse had a marvelous change in heart.” Nureyev grins. It’s slightly manic, like he’s been running on fumes for the past few days. Gently, I guide him to my bed and sit him down. We should probably come back to the horse bit later, but right now there are more important things to take care of. 

“Okay then. I have some bandages around here somewhere… We should immobilize those as much as possible.” I kiss his forehead and start hunting for first aid supplies. 

“Why do you have bandages in your room, dear?” He asks, holding his hands very still in his lap. He takes directions well, I’ll give him that. 

“Sarah likes to wear rings.” I hum, gesturing to a scar on my jaw. 

“Ah. I see.” 

The bandages are tucked into a corner of my bedside drawer. Thankfully I haven’t had much use of them lately, so there’s plenty left to wrap Nureyev’s wrists. 

“I take it you know this much first aid for about the same reasons you have the supplies?” 

I sit down next to him, gingerly bringing one of my hands into my lap. “Yep. Great intuition, honey.” 

“Okay, I’m going to poke you now. Let me know when it hurts.” I announce, prodding along his wrist until I go over his radius, when he inhales sharply. 

“There?” I ask, doing it again and feeling really bad. Nureyev nods, closing his eyes. The technique for wrapping bandages comes back to me like riding a bike… which ironically I have never done. I start wrapping firmly around his wrist, travelling up to loop around his thumb and back down to secure it. Peter watches me, only wincing once or twice. Whether that’s because it doesn’t hurt or because he’s hiding it from me, I can’t tell, but I think we’re past the point of hiding our pain. 

I tie off the bandage and kiss his palm lightly before taking his other hand. This time, he doesn’t let me work quietly. 

“How are we going to make it out of here this time?” 

“We’re not climbing, that’s for sure. How you managed to get here with two dislocated wrists is beyond me, but you’re not doing it again.” I snort. 

“What if that’s our only option? Do you think your mother will leave you alone again anytime soon?” 

“She has to sleep sometime, Nureyev. If I can get this damn lock off, we can just leave through the main exit.” 

“You’re  _ locked _ in here? Nevermind, I don’t know why I’m surprised.” 

“Yeah, could have been worse. But what did you mean when you said Ruby had a change in heart?” I finish wrapping his other hand, checking them both for signs of numbness. 

“Well, I got myself off the boat, swam to shore, and when I got there, so was she.” A familiar whinny comes from the ground as he speaks, and when I look out the window, there she is. I don’t think I’ve ever been happier to see a horse in my life. 

“There’s our getaway vehicle, then.” I mutter, waving at her. 

“That is a  _ very  _ smart horse.” He agrees, chuckling. 

“So you’re still in love with her?” I tease, brushing my hand through his hair. I have to admit, I think I like it better when it’s messy. He’s gorgeous with his walls down. 

“Yes, Juno. We’re getting married in the spring.” Nureyev deadpans, leaning into my touch so slightly I wouldn’t have noticed if I wasn’t watching every move he made. 

We’re being as quiet as we can, since Sarah will be listening for even the littlest sound from my room. It’s going fine until Rita, in an attempt to perform one of those infamous flying tackles on my head, knocks a vase off its shelf. 

You know when someone does something catastrophic and everything seems to go into slow motion? That doesn’t happen here. I watch that vase fall and shatter in real time, knowing I’ll never be fast enough to catch it, not even if I trained for years. 

In  _ seconds,  _ I hear Sarah’s footsteps on the stairs. “Shit! Okay, this is going to sound ridiculous but you have to get under the bed.” I tell Nureyev, and to his credit he doesn’t protest at all. He rolls under, and I sit on top as if nothing happened, which is difficult with a million shards of broken porcelain scattered across the floor. 

The lock turns, and she storms in. Her gaze passes over me and lands immediately on Rita. 

Shit. 

“I have had enough of that damn lizard!” Sarah growls, going to grab Rita.

And then Nureyev pulls her feet out from under her. 

This time, the fall is in slow motion. Panic spikes through my heart as she hits the floor and Nureyev comes out from under the bed, gesturing for us to leave as fast as possible. But Sarah has a knife. It’s a familiar looking one, and it takes me a second, and then I realize… It’s Peter’s. 

She stands faster than I thought was possible after a fall like that, brandishing the knife with what I now recognize as a practiced grip. Neither of us are armed, and one of us is injured. Great! 

“Well, that did not go as planned.” Nureyev whispers from beside me, grasping at my arm. 

Sarah notices, and the smirk on her face makes me sick to my stomach. “So the thief has got you fooled even more than I thought, little monster. You really think he likes you that much? I’m the only one who’s ever going to actually love you, you know that.” 

Nureyev opens his mouth to say something, but she stops him. “Ah ah ah, no more of those wicked lies from you, nameless thief. We’ve had enough of your silver tongue for a lifetime. Now, you two are going to come with me.” She says, grabbing me by the wrist and sending shivers of revulsion up my arm. 

We’re marched down the stairs and into the main room. It looks… old. Dusty and decrepit and  _ old.  _ These rooms I’ve spent my whole life in, reduced to something that looks like it’s one good hit away from crumbling. 

She makes me chain Peter to the staircase, the point of  _ his  _ knife pressed against my back. He mutters something about  _ “Really? This again?”  _ but my mind is too clouded with an interesting mix of fear and anger. She can do what she wants with me, but to bring him into it… 

“Now, Juno. We’re going to go somewhere safer, and you’re not going to fight me.” Sarah tells me, gripping my arm again as she kicks open a trapdoor I didn’t know existed. But I stand my ground, even as her nails break my skin. 

“I’m not going  _ anywhere  _ with you.” I look around for something to defend myself with, anything at all. My eye falls on the kitchen, and… There it is. 

My old friend, the frying pan. 

Desperately, I grab it and hit the arm holding me. Sarah pulls it away quickly with a yelp, and holds it close to her body as she points the knife at me anew. 

Knife to frying pan combat, though unorthodox, is difficult. The knife is a short range weapon and the frying pan is… unclassified, as of yet, but longer range than a knife. It’s a dance of darting in and out of stabbing reach, and one I’m not eager to do again. What’s almost worse than the constant fear of death or injury is the taunts she’s throwing at me. 

_ “You’re weak.”  _

_ “I’m the only one who’ll love you.”  _

_ “You’re just young and naive.”  _

_ “Mother knows best.”  _

And that nickname, the one she’s stuck to me my whole life. “Little monster”. That nickname was the first step of the longest stairway in the world. Everything I’ve done, all of the few happy moments I’ve had here, are sullied by that one thing. It’s not just a nickname, it’s an insult. She thinks I’m a monster, she thought  _ Ben _ was a monster. 

“You just hurt everyone you love, don’t you, Juno? Nobody is safe around you.” Sarah continues, Peter’s knife nicking my arm. I hear him pull at the chains behind me, and my heart pricks. 

“Shut up.” I mutter, shoving her out of range again with a glancing hit on her side. 

She doesn’t shut up, though. “You love me, and here you are trying to kill me. What would Benzaiten think?  _ He  _ loved you too, and you killed him. He was just doing what he was told!” 

I falter for a second, but pick up quickly when she lashes out again. “What do you mean, doing what he was told?” 

“I knew you were going to try and leave. I’m not stupid, little monster. I told him to stop you.” She’s so nonchalant. “He would have gone with you, poor boy, so I had to correct him. It’s a dangerous world out there, after all… Maybe it’s better you dealt with him.” 

The world dims around me, and the only thing I see is my mother’s smug face as she talks about how  _ she  _ got Benten killed. She used him like a pawn, like a disposable toy soldier, she used  _ me _ the same way. And she doesn’t even feel bad. 

That’s all we were to her, huh? Pieces in her game, things to alleviate her boredom. So what if one dies, right? It’s just something to lord over the other. We were only there so she could have something to control. 

And that makes me even angrier. 

A growl tears through my teeth, and I press forwards. The worst thing I’ve ever done, and it wouldn’t even have happened if not for her. 

Nureyev’s voice breaks me out of my trance, and the world fades back in. “Use your eye, Juno!” He calls, clearly struggling as hard as he can with the chains. 

“I can’t! I’ll kill everyone here!” 

“You didn’t last time! Trust me, please!” He says, voice breaking on the last word. 

“Don’t listen to him, Juno. He just wants a way out, he’ll steal away once the chains are gone and then who will you rely on?” Sarah hisses, but I ignore her. 

“Last time was a fluke, Nureyev. It had to have been!” I reply. Goddamn, holding a conversation while fighting someone is exhausting. 

“What I said in that cave still stands, Juno! If here is where it ends, at least I got to meet you. I… I love you.” 

Holy fuck. 

He… What? 

_ Me?  _ Really? Is he sure? 

Those words threw me off track, and Sarah sees that opportunity and runs with it. She surges forwards and pins me back against the wall, knife to my throat. 

“See where that gets you, little monster? I’m the only one you can trust to keep you safe.” She murmurs, voice slathered in disgusting amounts of honey. She presses the knife harder, millimeters from drawing blood. 

I can’t die here. Not by her hand or anyone else’s, hopefully. 

I’ve torn off my eyepatch before she can even realize what I’m doing, and this time, the bang is immediate. It’s much less controlled than in the cave. Everything is more intense, the light, the heat, the force, the pain in my eye… 

Sarah is thrown backwards. She’s staggering towards the window, blinded briefly by the flash, and then… 

And then she falls. She trips over a chair, knocked over in our scuffling, and she falls out the window. I can’t help it, I surge forwards to try and catch her, but she’s gone. Oh my god, she’s  _ gone-  _

I whirl around, remembering Nureyev. I just killed my mother, I can’t imagine how he must have been affected… He’s on the ground, and it feels like a punch lands in my gut. 

_No_. 

I run up to him, falling to my knees and pulling him into my lap. No, no, no… His head must have hit the wall in the chaos, he’s bleeding. Memories of another body, held just like this, flood my brain, but I ignore them. There has to be something I can do, something I can fix, something that will make up for everything. 

The tears start without me even realizing it, mixing with the blood running from my eye and the blood the ground around me. Everywhere I look there’s tears and blood and memories of a life I can’t ever have again. If he had never met me he’d be fine, if he’d never met me he’d be alive…!

My good eye blurs shut, and I realize I haven’t been able to see out of the other since the explosion, but I don’t think of that right now. I only knew him for two days, and I fucked him up this bad? I press my forehead to his, my hands in his hair and my tears on his face. 

But then he moves. “Juno?” Peter mumbles, and I start crying harder. 

The relief is immediate and overwhelming. “Fuck, oh my god. Nureyev, you absolute… Jesus christ.” I say, half laughing and half sobbing. “I thought you were dead!” 

“Well… I wasn’t?” He grins, and I want to kiss it off his stupid face. 

“Shut the fuck up. I love you, I love you so much, holy hell.” I growl, helping him sit up. He just laughs at me, and I almost knock him over again with a hug. 

“I love you too, darling.” 

We sit there for a good ten minutes, until I stop crying and my heart slows to a less dangerous rhythm. 

“Would you mind unchaining me, dear?” Nureyev reminds me, rattling the chains. “I couldn’t slip out of these ones, you bandaged me too well.” 

“I’m not apologizing for that.” I snort, undoing the binds as quickly as possible. He flexes his hands as soon as he’s free, regaining the feeling. 

“Wait a minute…” Peter starts undoing the wrappings, ignoring my vehement protests, but when I see his wrist behind the bandages, I stop immediately. 

It’s… fine. 

No more bruises, no more swelling… It’s normal. 

“Is the other one like that too?” I breathe, grabbing his hand to look at it closer. 

“I think so. It doesn’t hurt, at the very least.” The scratches on his face are gone, too, and when I feel around the back of his head, the only sign he was ever hurt is the blood in his hair. 

“Juno…” He says, reaching out to wipe at my face. His hand comes away gold, the same colour as the curemother prime. 

“What the hell?” I say, blinking heavily. He has flecks of gold on his face too, right where my tears fell. 

My tears… Oh. Holy shit. 

Nureyev gets there just as I do, and he looks up at me, wonder in his eyes. Holy  _ shit.  _

“Did you know you could do that, love?” He asks softly, rubbing at his wrists like if he does it enough the effects will wear off. 

“Nope.” I breathe, running my fingers gently under my eye. I still can’t see out of it, but I think that’s okay. It’s caused more trouble than it’s worth in my opinion. 

“Do you think your mother knew?” 

My mother… I don’t even answer his question, I just get up and cross to the window. I think Nureyev realizes what happened, because he follows me over and takes my hand. 

Sarah Steel is lying at the bottom of the tower, mostly concealed by her cloak. Ruby is standing over her, neighing frantically. 

She’s all I’ve ever known. The only bit of my family left. I spent my whole life with her and Ben, and then just her. How do I navigate a world where she isn’t there, controlling my every move? It’s a relief, but also… terrifying. What do you do with a life you never thought you’d have, how do you react to a situation you never thought you’d be in? 

Nureyev gets it. I learned on the very first night I met him about his parental struggles, so he just tucks his head over mine and lets me grieve. 

But honestly? 

For the first time in either of our lives… things seem to have balanced out in our favour. 

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay!!! all that's left is the epilogue :) my search history is now full of pictures of dislocated wrists but it's worth it <3
> 
> also writing penumbra fic is just a game of 'how badly can i fuck up nureyev's name while typing fast'


	6. i see the light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The epilogue!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> cws/tws for this chapter:   
> \- implied/referenced emotional & physical abuse   
> \- implied sexual content 
> 
> this is a short one, but i really just wanted to let everyone know that They Are Happy Now!! this was so fun for me to write. they really did just invent love huh

We build stairs into the tower so Ruby can get up. 

Juno and I are living in the tower until we find someplace else. Maybe not better, just… Different. Together. It still holds too many bad memories for him, but maybe we’ll visit a few years down the line. 

Sometimes he has nightmares. He’s getting better, adjusting to life without Sarah Steel, but those times he wakes up in a sweat after a particularly vivid dream are still horrible. I wish there was something I could do, but I went through the same thing after Mag. The only thing I can do is offer him soothing whispers and gentle touches, when he wants them. Sometimes he doesn’t, and that’s alright too. It’s not a linear process, it never has been and never will be. But he’s safe, that’s all that matters. 

We’re learning how to coexist together, as well. Juno, as I’ve discovered, doesn’t like to do the dishes. I don’t mind, though, because he does give excellent massages. It’s a give and take, but a kind one. He still flinches away sometimes when I make sudden movements, or when I touch him and he isn’t expecting it. I’m learning how to deal with the aftermath of his mother as well. I’m not used to dulling my movements and making them obvious, but I think I’d do anything for him. 

He’s getting better, we’re getting better. I can tell he beats himself up about these things, the slowness of it all, but that doesn’t change the fact that it is happening, and I can see it, even when he can’t. It is going to take a while, that’s inevitable, but he didn’t apologize when he dropped a plate the other day! He just swept it up and threw it out. The little things speak volumes. 

I sold the curemother prime. I had to travel all the way to the nearest kingdom to do it, and while it pained me to be away from him, it was worth it. We have the means to do anything we want, go anywhere we want… The world is our oyster, as they say. 

Speaking of the curemother, Juno has definitely lost whatever magic his eye contained. That last burst combined with the healing must have been too much. He’s back to wearing his eyepatch, as he can’t even see out of it anymore. He says he just got used to wearing it, but I think he likes how he looks. He’s right, though. Juno would look incredible in anything. 

I think Sarah knew that his eye could heal as well as destroy. How, I’m not sure, but why else would she have wanted to keep him around so badly? I did some research, and rumours of the curemother prime started to surface right around the time Juno was born. That can’t be a coincidence, can it? 

I’m not going to tell him any of this unless he asks. No use in him mourning an ability he didn’t even know he had and making him reconsider his entire relationship with his mother  _ again.  _ He needs time to recover from the last realization first. 

Thankfully, Rita has warmed up to me! She treats me like a tree, leaping off my shoulders and taking in the view from the top of my head. She’s surprisingly demanding for a lizard, and she lets you know when you have something she wants. We go through plenty of salmon snacks. 

Another addition to our… Our family, I should say, is Ruby. It took some finagling to get her through the window, but now she makes herself quite at home up here. She and Rita have become fast friends as well, and you’ll often see them trotting in circles around the furniture. Juno worries for the floorboards, but I’m just relieved we have no downstairs neighbors. 

Between all the repairs and the learning and the giant horse in our living room, there are downtimes too. 

Juno likes it when I read to him. It doesn’t matter what, I could be reading the side of a soup can, but he loves it. We’ll sit in front of the fire and he’ll fall asleep on my shoulder as I read to him about adventurous things we might soon get to experience. 

He cooks for us, and he tries his hardest to not get distracted when I hang off his shoulders. Unfortunately for him, he isn’t very good at it. He’s burnt far too many an omelet while we were… otherwise occupied.

Both of us are early risers, so sometimes we just sit and watch the sun rise. 

It’s a spectacular view from the tower, the buttery yellows and purples and blues spreading over the landscape like an iridescent spill of oil in a pool. 

Call me cliche if you’d like, but it seems like it’s waiting for us. But you know what the nice thing is? We have all the time in the world to answer its call. 

We finally have  _ time.  _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sometimes a family can be an enby, his boyfriend, a chameleon with human levels of empathy, and the most gorgeous and intelligent horse you've ever met. and thats okay. 
> 
> this is officially the longest thing i have ever written!! oh sweet naive me from a week ago who thought nearly 2000 words was a lot... this fic consumed my every waking moment and i somehow still managed to not edit it <3
> 
> anyways!! a soft happy ending courtesy of peter nureyev being in love and having a home. gn folks.

**Author's Note:**

> hell.... yes.  
> tangled made me gay, the penumbra made me gayer, it was only natural they collide. this one might get pretty long, i've plotted out six chapters but seeing as i did it all in like an hour things will probably change around. 
> 
> please comment!! rescued myself from the raft but now i seem to be dangling over the edge of a volcano. whoops.


End file.
